Freedom Books and Plays

Mrs Murphy enters

ROBERTS: Good evening, Duchess. Come to the feast?

MRS MURPHY: It’s not for you, young man.

JOHNSTONE: Her Ladyship invited us to help ourselves.

MRS MURPHY: I’ll see about that.

ROBERTS: Going to join the dancing, then? She’ll be waltzing with the Major.

JOHNSTONE: Lovely couple they make.

Roberts picks up a snipe by the beak and takes a bite.

ROBERTS: What do you call this then?

MRS MURPHY: Snipe.

ROBERTS: Don’t like it. Too ripe if you ask me.

MRS MURPHY: I didn’t. (Roberts throwing it back onto the pile of uneaten birds.) You are disgusting putting it back on the other birds.

ROBERTS: (Picking up another bird, taking a bite and returning it to the pile) So. What are you going to do?

MRS MURPHY: (Advancing on Roberts, who stands his ground.) Throw you out of my kitchen.

Alec enters the kitchen.

ALEC: What’s going on?

ROBERTS: The old cow’s wants to spoil the party.

ALEC: Corporal. I’ve met too many of your type before. Drunken louts.

ROBERTS: And I’ve met too many of your type as well. Stuck up snobs. She’s going to throw me out of her kitchen. What are you going to do then?

Alec walks up to Roberts, who retreats. The music stops. Meli returns to the kitchen, leading MacTaggart.

ALEC: One more word out of you and Mrs Murphy won’t need to throw you out. I’ll do it for her.

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